How to Raise Kids Who Will Eat (Almost) Anything

Thought I'd make a quick post about picky eaters - I will certainly elaborate later, but if you have any questions, please feel free to reach out!

While my boys are certainly no angels (ha!), the one thing I will give them is that they are willing to try any food. We've gone through so many food trends over the years, and regardless of the trend they always are willing to eat their greens.

I've noticed a few things over the years of working with other mom's. I thought I'd share a few theories that I have on how to avoid raising a picky eater.

First of all, start them young. Start with the greens and bitter foods first, and don't give them anything sweet - even bananas or other sweet fruits - until they are over 1 year and then keep those as a 'once-a-week' occasion. This goes hand-in-hand with also being sure to avoid refined sugar at all costs. This gives kids an excellent chance to build up their immune system, meaning they will fight off more viruses. They will also stick to a routine better, and sleep better.

Don't give kids juice. Water only! We didn't even give our kids cow's milk - and still don't. We went against our doctor's advice because Gage started off with a dairy allergy that he eventually grew out of, but we felt it best to avoid giving him baby cow growth hormones. Both my boys are healthy and strong, so I've never felt they have suffered by not having cow's milk.

A few quick facts about cow's milk:

- Over 70% of North American's are actually lactose intolerant and don't even know it
- Dairy contributes to ear infections
- Dairy - cow's milk - does not in fact make your bones strong like dairy farmer's claim. Vitamin D makes your bones strong, dairy makes them brittle. You have a higher chance of being diagnosed with Osteoporosis if you are a milk drinker.
- Dairy is highly inflammatory
- Cow's milk was not meant for human consumption. Think about it: Would you drink the milk of a kangaroo? Cow's milk was literally meant to help a baby cow grow as big as possible. Human's are not cows.

For more information about dairy, check out The China Study by clicking here.

The other thing I will encourage mom's to do, is to not stop trying to get your kids to eat healthy foods. Keep offering it, don't give up, and don't make them a second dinner. Our house rule is always that if you don't eat your dinner, you get nothing else until breakfast. Our kids are bottomless on a regular basis (I actually have to pack Finnigan 2 lunches every day because otherwise I get notes home from teachers telling us we didn't send enough food), so this rule usually works for us. Both boys would rather eat the broccoli on their plate than be hungry.

I knew I needed to do the opposite of what my parents did to me as a kid. I wasn't allowed to leave the table until I was done. There was no way around it. I'd sit with vein-y chicken or fat-filled steak and cry as my meal got colder and colder. It certainly did not encourage me to eat!

The biggest thing we started doing that really helped with our efforts to get the kids to eat better has always been to get them busy in the kitchen. They LOVE helping make meals. They stand on a chair at the counter and help put together salads, and they are a big part of our meal planning process as well. If they help you make it, they are more likely to eat it.

I also think there is something to be said about getting your kids to eat foods from all over the world. I grew up in a house that ate strictly western meals - meat and potatoes with a small side of veggies. My parents to this day will not eat Indian food or Thai food. We make an effort to make a dish from another part of the world once a week. Our kids really love it, and we've collected a few favourites that repeat on a weekly basis.

If you struggle with finding recipes that are nutritious, easy to make and don't cost a fortune, just know that it IS possible to pull this off. Pinterest is your best friend! For those that struggle to get kids to eat veggies, check out Jessica Seinfeld's cookbooks here. These cookbooks help you sneak veggies into popular dishes, and your kids won't even know what they are eating!

Have a question? Reach out! I'd love to elaborate more on this topic later on, and your feedback is important!

Gage, age 4, munching on a kale and quinoa salad

The Hardest Job of All

Chances are, if you are reading this blog, you are a parent.

I have 2 boys, ages 5 and 8 (Finnigan and Gage). I also have a 12 year old step daughter, Jade.

Being a parent is hard work. No one will ever deny that statement.

Last year and this year have been the most challenging part of being a parent to date. As I've mentioned previously, Gage had some health problems that were caused be exposure to the strep virus. This caused his immune system to attack his body, specifically his kidneys, and he went into full renal failure. We spent a few weeks at Sick Kids Hospital in Toronto, never leaving his bed side through the entire (terrifying) ordeal. When we finally came home with Gage, he wasn't completely out of the woods and wasn't able to go back to school for another few weeks. When he started back, he went part time only, then spent the summer recovering and getting his energy back. He started Grade 3 in September, his 3rd year of french immersion. It became clear to us at his parent teacher interview that he was struggling with varying aspects in school. While we know - despite being biased  - that Gage is a smart kid, his marks were awful and he struggled massively with paying attention.

We took him to more doctors to rule out anything like ADHD (or similar), which is what was recommended by his teacher. I knew he didn't have ADHD, but we looked at every option. We changed around his diet, talked to him until we were blue in the face, and felt completely helpless. It wasn't until Gage's doctor at Sick Kids, who saved his life months previously, pointed out that it didn't sound like his teacher was very compassionate and understanding of the massive ordeal Gage went through. This made us realize some big emotions.

Here we are, trying so desperately to just go "back to normal" but we didn't actually make sure we were all - Gage included - okay with the huge emotions we dealt with during Gage's ordeal. In that moment, we put Gage into counselling and we took a good hard look at how we parent. It was mind boggling. We all ended up doing some soul searching.

We felt like awful parents, not listening to Gage and what he had to say. Once we started talking about his ordeal in the hospital and he opened up to us about how he still felt, he became this open book. He told us how he didn't like how his teacher talks to him, and how she makes him feel. That was not okay for us to hear as parents! We tried desperately to talk to his teacher about all this, and to the vice principal at his school. We were met with a 15 minute meeting - really, 15 minutes was all we were given - and nothing, literally, was accomplished in that meeting. Gage didn't feel comfortable enough to tell anyone how he really felt about his teacher and how she makes him feel. It was so upsetting for us, and we feel as though the school system has failed our kid.

This school year has made us angry, but we've learned a lot about how we want to raise our children. It has also opened the door for more conversation, and that is absolutely a step in the right direction.

We learned a valuable lesson on the importance of listening to our kid above anyone else. And believing him. If we want to raise a well adjusted person who openly talks about his feelings, we have to lead by example and start now. This has led us to openly talking to our kids every night at the dinner table. We've also tried very hard as parents to stop doing the empty threat yell that so many parents do as a last resort to make their kids listen - you know, the "if you don't do this by the count of 3, you are going in a time out forever and ever" kind of yell. We just started listening. And getting down on their level when they get frustrated and upset.

I know this isn't a traditional post - but I felt it was worth sharing some of our experience because it's all part of the big picture. Our boys are wild and constantly laughing. They make silly jokes all the time - and always about poop, for crying out loud - but I love every minute of it. And the bottom line here, is that the more our children realized that we are listening to what they have to say, the less they act up and throw big tantrums and lose their shit. It's a win/win. 

The school year isn't over yet, but we've been saying for months that we hope grade 4 is better for Gage. He's a good kid and he deserves to be in a classroom where a teacher kindly encourages him and builds his confidence. I wanted to share all of this because I know I'm not alone. Our school system frustrates us in so many ways, because it was not created to help every kind of kid. It's more of a "one size fits all". Don't get me wrong, I know there are incredible teachers out there. Our Finnigan has an awesome kindergarten teacher who raves about what a great kid Finn is. Gage had a really good teacher last year too. But it has just taken this one school year to lower Gage's self-esteem to the point of not even wanting to try in class. As parents, it's so very hard to help him when the teacher won't work with us.

My favourite parenting book, which really got this entire ball rolling, is "How to Talk so Children Will Listen, and How to Listen so Children Will Talk" by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlich (click here to buy)

My Loyalty Lies With Mom's

I've been in this industry for a few years. I've watched many trends come and go, and I've frequented many health food stores. I've also worked closely with the owners of 2 local health food stores.

You will notice that a lot of people in this industry, usually nutritionists, align themselves with specific health food stores where they want their clients to shop, or they recommend a certain brand(s) of supplements to their clients.

I'm here to call bullshit. Bullshit on that being for the "greater good" of the client. It's all about one thing: money.

Think about the last time you walked into the health food store. I can pretty much guarantee that your experience ended up being expensive. Whether you purchased only 1 item (if this is the case, please share how you managed to leave a health food store with only ONE item... that takes so much self control!) or you ended up spending 5 million dollars, you likely walked away thinking "wow, that was a small fortune". We've all been there.

Heck, I've spent THOUSANDS at health food stores over the years. Literally, thousands.

But here is what I've learned.

- I have yet to meet an owner of a health food store that is not completely insane. This may seem like a blanket statement, but this industry has BOOMED over the years, and health food store owners have raked in some serious money because of it. It's cut throat, competitive, and full of misinformation. Most of these owners have become incredibly business savvy, finding a million different ways to benefit from the massive amount of people looking to eat healthy. Some health food stores have done better than others - the ones that haven't done as well, spend their days in jealousy desperately trying to be like the health food store down the road with better business. It makes for some cray-cray owners.

- All health food stores have massive mark-up's on their items. All. Of. Them. There is one local health food store in particular, who purchases a "Superfood" bag salad from the same supplier that provides these EXACT SAME salads to No Frills. They take the salads out of the bags, put them in plastic containers, and sell them for $3-$5 more. Some of the larger health food stores purchase large quantities of supplements at a time, with expiry dates 2-3 years into the future. This gives them a lower price directly from the supplier, and they usually also get "bonus" items too (think Cliff Bars and little protein shake samples). These stores then sell those "bonus" items to customers as well, when they wouldn't have paid a cent for it. Then they also sell these supplements they purchased in bulk for less money than a competitor because their purchase price was lower. They still add a significant mark-up to the item in question, but it takes business away from the smaller stores because they undercharge them. Don't get me wrong, there IS regulation on how much items can be sold for in the industry - but it is specifically enforced by the makers of the supplements and other items themselves. They each have a "minimum" health food stores can price the items for. But there is no "fine" for undercharging - the brands just sternly speak to the owner of the store, and the owner changes the price of the item in question. If there is enforcement than that, I never ever heard of it.

- It's very likely that if you have frequented the same health food store (or really, different ones in the same city), you will notice that other than MAYBE one employee, there is a high turn over rate for employees. Big stores in particular are good for this. Because this industry has been doing so well, there is a surplus of Nutritionists, and similar, who want to work within the industry for first hand experience. There are piles and piles of resumes sent into health food stores, they can actually afford to keep flying through employees until they find one that "sticks". But remember when I mentioned the bigger health food stores that purchase supplements and other items in bulk so they can price their items lower than a smaller competitor? They can also afford to do this because their pay their employees hardly more than minimum wage. OR they just pay them minimum wage. If you go to the same store consistently, you will get to know the employees and it's always very clear whether they like their job. I know one store in particular - a smaller, local store - where the employees don't even care that customers overhear their dislike of the owners. They all hate it there. This store has a very high turnover rate with the exception of one loyal employee, who after a decade of working there makes hardly over minimum wage. This can also be a continuation of my first point, that the owners are crazy and hard to work with. High turnover rate at your store? It's probably because the owners and management are hard to please and are just plain crazy.

I know, I've made an incredible amount of blanket statements in this post. But I'm loyal to the mom's who want to feed their families healthy food and have them not spend a fortune doing so. While supporting small businesses is something I'm very passionate about, I think it's equally important to find businesses that deserve the loyalty and your patronage.

Here is a list of the things I've done over the years to support local AND feed my family healthy meals:

- Go to your farmers market. These are the people you should be supporting! They are hard working individuals and small businesses who hustle 24/7 and have EXCELLENT customer service. I've never once been disappointed by a visit to my local farmers market. We have a honey guy who knows us by name and has the BEST honey we've ever tasted, we have a soap lady who also knows us by name, talks to the kids and EVEN takes requests for new products (https://www.beachbabybb.com/ ....Hi Jess!). There's local produce that is cheaper than going to Loblaws or a local health food store that re-packages salads. It's worth supporting, hands down.

- Follow the Dirty Dozen & the Clean 15 list, which is specifically evaluated each year by The Environmental Working Group. (https://www.ewg.org/foodnews/). This list provides a guide for buying produce that is with the least amount of pesticides possible. The Clean 15 list is the list of produce items that are low in pesticides and safe to buy from traditional grocery stores. The Dirty Dozen list is produce that should ALWAYS be purchased organic. We know how expensive it is to buy all organic, this list makes it more affordable.

- Find local farms. We go to Moondance Organic Gardens (https://moondanceorganics.ca/about) for produce during the summer months and it's seriously amazeballs. It's beautiful, has delicious produce, the kids can get involved in helping harvest veggies, and they offer classes to help you become a super cool hippie. We love it there. We also go to Nicholyn Farms close to us for our meat (https://www.nicholyn.com/).... and they happen to also be a vendor at our Farmer's Market every Saturday so we don't have to drive outside the city to visit them. Win Win!

- Research, research, research! Read everything you can get on supplement brands, go to the health food stores and ask questions, see if you can find Canadian brands of high quality. Find peer reviewed studies. Never buy a supplement because it's cheap. NEVER EVER. Don't buy your supplements from chain grocery stores, or Costco. Never compromise quality for price. This also goes hand in hand with unless you are near death or have a very serious disease, you don't need to take 10+ supplements a day. I am also here for recommendations on favourite and trusted brands. Just ask!

- When you go to a health food store, engage the employees and ask things like "how do you like working here?". Ask again after you spoken to them 10 times.

- Don't go to health professionals that promote one specific brand of supplement or always the same health food store. If they get paid to recommend it, how do you know it's worth YOUR money?

I hesitated posting something like this, but after the years of watching families spend a fortune doing what is best for their family - and being one of those myself! I knew I had to speak up. Doing what is best for our family should not effect our bottom line. It shouldn't have to cost me a fortune to feed my family healthy meals. There are a lot of mom's out there who can't afford all organic produce, or to pay for overpriced re-packaged salads, and they need to budget the crap out of their groceries for the week. This blog post is for those mom's. I want everyone to know that there IS a way to feed your family the best and most delicious food while not spending a fortune. 

I'll be sure to elaborate and post more, please send me a message if you have questions or want more information.

And Happy Mother's Day to all the Mama's!